Obama: Thin-skinned

Where all the magic happens.President Obama went to Capitol Hill Tuesday for a closed-door meeting with Senate Republicans. He was apparently trying to drum up support for his policies, and wasn’t very successful.

Sen. Pat Roberts (R-KS) said: “He needs to take a Valium before he comes in and talks to Republicans. He’s pretty thin-skinned.” Sen. Sam Brownback (R-KS) described Obama as “testy”, while Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN) questioned Obama’s “audacity” at asking for Republican support after passing major legislation that the Republicans did not support (including Obamacare and financial reform).

I also have it on good authority from an unnamed source (code name: Justin Timberlake) that Obama flew into a rage, throwing a vase at an unnamed Senator before breaking into apologetic tears. He then spent several minutes phoning old girlfriends, asking whether he was a good person. He eventually got a hold of himself and realized that the Republicans had no interest in helping him convert the country into a progressive secular socialist state like Franklin Roosevelt had done years before (if it weren’t for Ronald Reagan’s reform of the financial industry, we might still be socialist). He apparently then gathered his broken-spirited aides and sulked back to the White House.

Of course, I can’t get anyone to go on record with these shocking allegations, but doesn’t it sound right?

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