Gerrymandering the Uterus

Well, this whole census situation has got me thinking. Sure, it could be used to gather people into internment camps, like Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) strongly did not say:

But the census data are also used to determine how many Representatives each state gets, and where the federal government allocates funds. So, if we can’t get rid of the census, then we need to get good with the census. We need to make sure that the census gives more representation and more money to the areas that deserve it, and less to those that don’t. But how could we do this legally? It’s against the law to lie on the census form, and I strongly discourage people from doing so. But here’s how it could be done:

We could use a basic difference between the left and Conservatives to our benefit. We could greatly increase the number of respondents in Conservative areas by getting Conservatives to claim the maximum number of occupants in their household. And how could we do this legally? We could count not only each man, woman, and child, but also each potential child. That’s right: we could count ova as people.

This idea is not without its problems, due to the questions on the census form itself. You’d have to name each ovum, and assign birthdates in the future, but it could be done. But the beauty of this idea is that liberals would never be able to copy us. If they did, they’d have to admit that the unborn are people and then they couldn’t be for abortion.

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  1. […] the census information properly. Even Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) has spoken about this distrust (link). It’s difficult to know what to do. What do you […]

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