Time’s Arrow

Proof!Many of the responses I get from these posts accuse me of being an apologist for Conservative hypocrisy. They base this on the fact that I don’t condemn Conservatives when they condemn liberals for the same things that Conservatives have done in the past. Well, there’s a very good explanation for this, and it isn’t bias.

You assume that I’m basing my condemnation (or lack of it) on which side I’m talking about at the time, but that’s not true. While that does seem to be the pattern, you have only demonstrated correlation, not causality. No, the reason that I don’t condemn the past actions of Conservatives is a scientific concept often called the Arrow of Time. Essentially, since entropy cannot spontaneously decrease in a sufficiently isolated system, time is directional. In short: what’s done is done.

Let me be absolutely clear: it is impossible for Conservatives to hold contradictory opinions. Let me prove it using logic:

  • A Conservative can’t have more than one opinion on a given subject.
  • It is impossible for a Conservative to time travel back to the time when they might (or might not) have held a different opinion (because of the Arrow of Time)
  • Since they can only hold one opinion at a time, and time travel is impossible, how can they be in contradiction with themselves? Whatever opinion they have right now is the only opinion they can have, so how can it be in contradiction?

I don’t know how the logic could be clearer. And before you accuse me of having a double standard, let me explain why the same logic doesn’t apply to liberals: liberals aren’t logical. I won’t hold them accountable to laws that they don’t understand.

So maybe liberals think that science fiction accusations of time travel are the way to smear Conservatives, but I just think that they need to watch less Star Trek, and read more good American literature (like Mark Twain or Jack London).

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