Poll Analysis

Markos MoulitsasSome analysis of the Daily Kos poll:

  • Do you believe the birth control pill is abortion? Yes 34%/No 48%/Not Sure 18%
  • Do you consider abortion to be murder? Yes 76%/No 8%/Not Sure 16%
  • Do you support the death penalty? Yes 91%/No 4%/Not Sure 5%

This poll makes one thing clear. If birth control is abortion, and abortion is murder, and the death penalty is appropriate for punishing murderers, than at least some people who use birth control should be executed. I know it sounds cruel, but this is a democracy, and the will of the people reigns supreme.

The big question is: which birth-control-users to execute? I suggest deciding this scientifically, by using the product rule. Thus, 23.5144% (which is 34% of 76% of 91%) of people who use birth control should be executed. Might as well round this down to 23%. It might seem difficult to determine which 23% of people to execute, but there is another solution, inspired by Solomon. We could just amputate 23% of each person that uses birth control. A leg seems about right, if you cut high enough.

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